#167 Pray Tell Me

Why do I bother talking when everyone wants to cut in without listening.

And now I feel like a bloody fool.

#166 How Time Flew

It's been what, 3 years since then. Suddenly, the memories flood back and I am longing for the "restart" button.

Oh well, life goes on, footsteps come into and leave. I'll let God decide the future.

之间 张栋梁

还有太多 值得回味
总有理由 继续沉醉
过去那氛围
要如何维持多一会

谁能保证 热情不退
我太习惯事与愿违
我想你错了
我不是甚么都可以无所谓
在爱或不爱退或不退之间
你和我忽近忽远
像在兜圈
这些年多少曲折蜿蜒
我就快要分裂
当初那些画面
需要多少时间还原

谁能保证 热情不退
我太习惯事与愿违
我想你错了
我不是甚么都可以无所谓
在爱或不爱退或不退之间
你和我忽近忽远
像在兜圈
这些年多少曲折蜿蜒
我就快要分裂
当初那些画面
需要多少时间还原

如果放开手让爱恢复自由
就算那是一种藉口
我会愿意承受

我们在幸福和不幸福之间
在痛或不痛快不快乐之间
至少我们都不是没有感觉
到底为了甚么改变

在爱或不爱退或不退之间
你和我忽近忽远 在兜圈
这些年多少曲折蜿蜒
我就快要分裂
当初那些画面 需要多少时间还原

#165 The Way I See It

Dreams are meant to come true. If the reverse was true, we wouldn't have dreams at all. Because everything that is created is for a purpose. And even for the atheist, natural selection has the habit of removing from the gene pool that which is not beneficial for the advancement of the species. Of course, this is a simplistic form of reason. Yet, this is what I have come to believe.

One day, I shall hold my own concert. The very first time I talked about it way back in polytechnic days I was not even serious. And yet after the timeskip here I am reminded of that "joke". In my mind, it's already come to fruition.

Just wait. One day, I'm going to make it. :)

#164 ...

It's so hard to say sorry, especially as we get older. It doesn't matter if its a small matter or a huge fiasco. Rawr. :(

Oh well.

#163 On The Last Day Of 2010

Happy New Year! Guess I'm going to sleep early though, don't feel the celebratory mood at all. It feels... But another day.

On the bright side of things, I've finally finished the whole 原来我不帅 series! Xiao Zhuang ah Xiao Zhuang, how could you have given up Qiao Ping! :(( 你真傻！！！

#162 We May Not Know What We Really Want

But we sure do not know what we don't want.

I know I don't want to be far away from Him. Yet my heart wanders and goes it's own way. And when I am shown the truth in the hurt I experience, sheepishly I return. I stand at the door wondering if things will ever be the same, with that voice in my mind saying, "No, it'll never ever be the same." And I am jaded, because I chose to interpret it as condemnation. But that voice never said it was for the worse. And yet I limit myself. But the people around. The people that are in hurt and yet stand up again. The people who swing from valley to valley yet never fail to stand each time. The Job's, the King David's, the spiritual giants who believe in the strength of not themselves, but of the God who create us all as vessels of love, these people remind me time again by their own internal struggles what it means to be a follower and not just a believer in Christ. Anyone, noble or ignoble, can believe. Even the Devil believes in God. But only true worshippers, true followers lay their free will at God's feet and take up their cross.

We are run down and fractured physically by the pressures of life. But if our soul will seek rest in Him, we are none the worse at the end of it all. That is the secret that truth, faith and hope brings. That is what love seeks to set free into our lives.

#161 Noooo! :(

A couple of weeks ago, my vocal class teacher asked to reintroduce ourselves to the entire class as we had new students joining us. He also told us to speak about our strengths and weaknesses. I shared a weakness, the acknowledgment of which has haunted me since then, a weakness that is inherent in areas of my life more than just in music.

And today, I find myself fighting that same old battle once more. I'm at the brink of either yet another terrible loss, or one of the most monumental breakthroughs in my life.

So Windez, what will you choose at the end? Will you choose to run once more, or will you choose to stand and fight?