The fear of losing or the fear of not getting?
I guess that question is moot, because I've never gotten past the fear of not getting, to taste the fear of losing.
And when will we look beyond words.
Why does one need to write in nuances, in seemingly dissonant overtones, if only they had nothing to hide?
For sometimes, the words that are not spoken speak more than the words that are said.
For example,
A: How are you today?
B: Like that lor.
A: Like? Like how?
B: Uhhh... *Cock and bull story* *Beat around the bush*
A: Oh.
B: Ya... (I never said I was okay.)
Just think... deeper.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
#59 It's Quiz Time! (My Collection Of On The Dot, Self-Thought, Super Fail Jokes)
Qn 1: At the Institute of Mental Health, 39 patients warded for various stress-related symptoms were informed that they were to sit for a test.
Everyone studied hard for the test, because they were told if they passed, they could be discharged immediately.
However, all 40 who took the test failed. Why?
Ans: It was a stress test.
Qn 2: All 39 patients were dismayed that they failed the test. However, everyone was curious as to why the only non-patient could have failed the test as well. Why?
Ans: The non-patient was an NSF. (hint: Chao Keng!!!)
And now for a little story.
Da Bao and Xiao Bao
On a normal day, Da Bao would be all whistly and chirpy. However, today was not a normal day; Da Bao had woke up on the wrong side of the Bao tray. As a result, Da Bao, in his uncontrollable rage, cursed and swore at the heat of the day.
"So hot, bloody sun, shine until so bright. Even my Bao skin also Chao Tar already!" Chao Tar Bao... err... Da Bao grumbled.
Da Bao grumbled a little more, before starting to walk to Bao Factory to meet up with the rest of the Bao workers.
"Bao Jing Tian, must give me good luck today," Da Bao silently prayed. "Today got Bao Ga Liao Toto. I bought big big. Must win big big. If not tomorrow can eat air liao."
Upon reaching the Factory, Da Bao promptly stamped his timesheet and proceeded in (what else?!) for work.
"Daaaaaaaaaaa Baoooooo!"
Da Bao looked around, but saw no one. He turned back to his work.
"Daaaaaaaaaaa Baoooooo!", the voice repeated.
"What lar?! Call me but don't show yourself!" Da Bao retorted. This time, Da Bao didn't even bother looking up. If the person (or Bao) wanted his attention, Da Bao thought, he would have to appear in person. Da Bao didn't want to waste time when he had so much work to do.
"Here lar! You look up for what?! I'm down here.....!" Xiao Bao exclaimed.
"Orh you ah, Xiao Bao. Why so deh one. Can don't sa jiao anot? You guy leh. Ya what?!" Da Bao replied.
"Hee hee hee, nothing, disiao nia!" Xiao Bao giggled, before running away.
"Oi you don't waste my time hor. Later I tell your ah pa Hum Bao Bao then you kena liao!" Da Bao screamed after him.
To cut a long story short, this happened quite a few times, until Da Bao was super mad. Frustrated, Da Bao went to complain to Hum Bao Bao.
"Ah boss ah," Da Bao said. "Your that Xiao Bao ah, keep disturbing me leh. Very hard concentrate. Can tell him don't disturb me anot?"
"Yes...yes Mr Bao Ga Liao, you want how many bao to showcase again? Sorry ah, my worker calling me," Hum Bao Bao, looked up. He motioned for Da Bao to be silent, for he was on an important business call with Bao Ga Liao, the Factory's biggest customer.
"Ah boss. Very fast one, spare me a moment nia," Da Bao raised his voice. "Your son..."
"Arh? How many bao again, sir?" Hum Bao Bao struggled against Da Bao's increased volume. "So sorry, my that worker very noisy and impatient."
"WHAT NOISY? I NOW ASK YOU VERY VERY NICELY, YOUR XIAO BAO HOW, DISIAO ME HOW I DO MY WORK?" Da Bao was practically screaming.
"Eh, what? Settle my worker before calling you back? But Mr Bao Ga Liao, Mr Bao..." The line went dead. Hum Bao Bao was belligerent.
"Boss your son..." Da Bao started, very pleased with himself for getting his boss' attention.
"GET OUT!" Hum Bao Bao screamed.
"But..." Da Bao stuttered.
"GET OUT RIGHT THIS MOMENT! I'M GOING TO CALL MR BAO GA LIAO ONE MORE TIME. IF I LOSE THIS BUSINESS, YOU LOSE YOUR JOB!" Hum Bao Bao screeched. He was livid with rage. Then, after taking 5 deep breaths, he regain his calm and poised manner, and proceeded to redial and restart the telephone conversation.
"Okay! Then you don't blame me if I discipline your son for you!" Da Bao barked before leaving the office.
So Da Bao chased Xiao Bao.
"I will beat you till your bao skin split!" a furious Da Bao screamed as he ran after a half giggling, half blabbering Xiao Bao.
After catching up to Xiao Bao, Da Bao did Mike Tyson proud by beating Xiao Bao up left, right, centre. Still, Xiao Bao didn't stop blabbering nonsense.
In exasperation, Da Bao took Xiao Bao and stuffed him into a bottle before throwing him into the sea.
The words he used as he performed the operation was too vulgar to even paraphrase.
After "disposing of" Xiao Bao, Da Bao went back to the office.
Upon reaching his cubicle, Da Bao saw a sealed envelope and knew his fate; Da Bao has lost his job. He cursed himself for his inability to shut his mouth earlier.
From that day onward, Da Bao ceased to exist. In his place was Dao Bao (Unsociable Bao).
And now for some more lame and totally incoherent jokes!
Qn 3: Who is taller, a 1.8m man or a 1.8m woman?
Ans: The Man. Because height (beauty) is in the eyes of the beholder. And more importantly I'm a man.
Qn 4: Why is it safer not to wear seat belts while in a car?
Ans: Because if the car overturns, how are you going to get out of the car with the buckle on?
Qn 5: Why do you have to take a right turn when you are lost?
Ans: Because there is no left, the other option is a wrong turn.
Qn 6: What do you find when you pick up a bottle from the sea?
Ans: Xiao Bao.
I feel my intelligence go lower just posting this on my blog.
*Edit*
Qn 7: What is Dao Bao going to eat for lunch tomorrow?
Ans: Eat air.
Everyone studied hard for the test, because they were told if they passed, they could be discharged immediately.
However, all 40 who took the test failed. Why?
Ans: It was a stress test.
Qn 2: All 39 patients were dismayed that they failed the test. However, everyone was curious as to why the only non-patient could have failed the test as well. Why?
Ans: The non-patient was an NSF. (hint: Chao Keng!!!)
And now for a little story.
Da Bao and Xiao Bao
On a normal day, Da Bao would be all whistly and chirpy. However, today was not a normal day; Da Bao had woke up on the wrong side of the Bao tray. As a result, Da Bao, in his uncontrollable rage, cursed and swore at the heat of the day.
"So hot, bloody sun, shine until so bright. Even my Bao skin also Chao Tar already!" Chao Tar Bao... err... Da Bao grumbled.
Da Bao grumbled a little more, before starting to walk to Bao Factory to meet up with the rest of the Bao workers.
"Bao Jing Tian, must give me good luck today," Da Bao silently prayed. "Today got Bao Ga Liao Toto. I bought big big. Must win big big. If not tomorrow can eat air liao."
Upon reaching the Factory, Da Bao promptly stamped his timesheet and proceeded in (what else?!) for work.
"Daaaaaaaaaaa Baoooooo!"
Da Bao looked around, but saw no one. He turned back to his work.
"Daaaaaaaaaaa Baoooooo!", the voice repeated.
"What lar?! Call me but don't show yourself!" Da Bao retorted. This time, Da Bao didn't even bother looking up. If the person (or Bao) wanted his attention, Da Bao thought, he would have to appear in person. Da Bao didn't want to waste time when he had so much work to do.
"Here lar! You look up for what?! I'm down here.....!" Xiao Bao exclaimed.
"Orh you ah, Xiao Bao. Why so deh one. Can don't sa jiao anot? You guy leh. Ya what?!" Da Bao replied.
"Hee hee hee, nothing, disiao nia!" Xiao Bao giggled, before running away.
"Oi you don't waste my time hor. Later I tell your ah pa Hum Bao Bao then you kena liao!" Da Bao screamed after him.
To cut a long story short, this happened quite a few times, until Da Bao was super mad. Frustrated, Da Bao went to complain to Hum Bao Bao.
"Ah boss ah," Da Bao said. "Your that Xiao Bao ah, keep disturbing me leh. Very hard concentrate. Can tell him don't disturb me anot?"
"Yes...yes Mr Bao Ga Liao, you want how many bao to showcase again? Sorry ah, my worker calling me," Hum Bao Bao, looked up. He motioned for Da Bao to be silent, for he was on an important business call with Bao Ga Liao, the Factory's biggest customer.
"Ah boss. Very fast one, spare me a moment nia," Da Bao raised his voice. "Your son..."
"Arh? How many bao again, sir?" Hum Bao Bao struggled against Da Bao's increased volume. "So sorry, my that worker very noisy and impatient."
"WHAT NOISY? I NOW ASK YOU VERY VERY NICELY, YOUR XIAO BAO HOW, DISIAO ME HOW I DO MY WORK?" Da Bao was practically screaming.
"Eh, what? Settle my worker before calling you back? But Mr Bao Ga Liao, Mr Bao..." The line went dead. Hum Bao Bao was belligerent.
"Boss your son..." Da Bao started, very pleased with himself for getting his boss' attention.
"GET OUT!" Hum Bao Bao screamed.
"But..." Da Bao stuttered.
"GET OUT RIGHT THIS MOMENT! I'M GOING TO CALL MR BAO GA LIAO ONE MORE TIME. IF I LOSE THIS BUSINESS, YOU LOSE YOUR JOB!" Hum Bao Bao screeched. He was livid with rage. Then, after taking 5 deep breaths, he regain his calm and poised manner, and proceeded to redial and restart the telephone conversation.
"Okay! Then you don't blame me if I discipline your son for you!" Da Bao barked before leaving the office.
So Da Bao chased Xiao Bao.
"I will beat you till your bao skin split!" a furious Da Bao screamed as he ran after a half giggling, half blabbering Xiao Bao.
After catching up to Xiao Bao, Da Bao did Mike Tyson proud by beating Xiao Bao up left, right, centre. Still, Xiao Bao didn't stop blabbering nonsense.
In exasperation, Da Bao took Xiao Bao and stuffed him into a bottle before throwing him into the sea.
The words he used as he performed the operation was too vulgar to even paraphrase.
After "disposing of" Xiao Bao, Da Bao went back to the office.
Upon reaching his cubicle, Da Bao saw a sealed envelope and knew his fate; Da Bao has lost his job. He cursed himself for his inability to shut his mouth earlier.
From that day onward, Da Bao ceased to exist. In his place was Dao Bao (Unsociable Bao).
And now for some more lame and totally incoherent jokes!
Qn 3: Who is taller, a 1.8m man or a 1.8m woman?
Ans: The Man. Because height (beauty) is in the eyes of the beholder. And more importantly I'm a man.
Qn 4: Why is it safer not to wear seat belts while in a car?
Ans: Because if the car overturns, how are you going to get out of the car with the buckle on?
Qn 5: Why do you have to take a right turn when you are lost?
Ans: Because there is no left, the other option is a wrong turn.
Qn 6: What do you find when you pick up a bottle from the sea?
Ans: Xiao Bao.
I feel my intelligence go lower just posting this on my blog.
*Edit*
Qn 7: What is Dao Bao going to eat for lunch tomorrow?
Ans: Eat air.
Friday, July 24, 2009
#58 Back To Camp Tomorrow
To help out with cohesion on a Saturday.
A bonus is that I get a day off for the "duty".
I'm actually extremely blessed to be in this unit and to have the privileges that I have.
So let me not complain or whine anymore than I already have.
And boy am I having laptop withdrawal symptoms.
A bonus is that I get a day off for the "duty".
I'm actually extremely blessed to be in this unit and to have the privileges that I have.
So let me not complain or whine anymore than I already have.
And boy am I having laptop withdrawal symptoms.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
#57 It Seems Like An Eternity
And yet an instant all at one go.
Such is the irony, as time flows.
I'm not sure where I'd be a few years from now, but I feel too carefree to bother.
Which is also a danger in itself.
Still there's one good lesson to learn in army, of which I'm taking.
A rather bothersome task to endure.
That lesson is perseverance.
I'm not talking about getting swept by the inevitability of events, but to persevere in making some good come out from them.
And frankly, I never knew myself to be a fighter.
Because I always was a quitter.
But that's just what makes it all the more exciting, isn't it?
To do something you've never succeeded before.
Such is the irony, as time flows.
I'm not sure where I'd be a few years from now, but I feel too carefree to bother.
Which is also a danger in itself.
Still there's one good lesson to learn in army, of which I'm taking.
A rather bothersome task to endure.
That lesson is perseverance.
I'm not talking about getting swept by the inevitability of events, but to persevere in making some good come out from them.
And frankly, I never knew myself to be a fighter.
Because I always was a quitter.
But that's just what makes it all the more exciting, isn't it?
To do something you've never succeeded before.
#56 A Post From Camp
I think I've made it known pretty well in Facebook, but I shall say it again here;
My Laptop is dead.
And I'm not going to bother wasting $$$, time and effort to fix it.
So that leaves me out of commission.
Not that I really mind sometimes.
My biggest gripe is that I can no longer listen to songs.
So no more bathroom-singing practising with songs.
As usual, Tuesday vocal lessons are awesome.
Even had a little Karaoke session after that. ;)
*Looks at watch*
Time to head home.
Gosh, I really gotta find a new hobby.
Besides swatting flies, I guess.
My Laptop is dead.
And I'm not going to bother wasting $$$, time and effort to fix it.
So that leaves me out of commission.
Not that I really mind sometimes.
My biggest gripe is that I can no longer listen to songs.
So no more bathroom-singing practising with songs.
As usual, Tuesday vocal lessons are awesome.
Even had a little Karaoke session after that. ;)
*Looks at watch*
Time to head home.
Gosh, I really gotta find a new hobby.
Besides swatting flies, I guess.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
#55 Because It's Work Time
Batter. Better. Bitter.
Flash. Smash. Splash. Slash.
Grind. Rind. Mind. Kind. Hind.
Ogle. "Google". Giggle. "Muggle". "Moogle". Bugle.
Words.
Alone they make no sense.
Together,
That make all the difference.
(And to make the whole quote corny)
Just like me and you.
(can't be helped, I was tempted)
Flash. Smash. Splash. Slash.
Grind. Rind. Mind. Kind. Hind.
Ogle. "Google". Giggle. "Muggle". "Moogle". Bugle.
Words.
Alone they make no sense.
Together,
That make all the difference.
(And to make the whole quote corny)
Just like me and you.
(can't be helped, I was tempted)
Saturday, July 18, 2009
#54 I Don't Know
I really don't.
Can someone tell me why this soul is so nihilistic at this moment in time?
Pessimism suppresses my hope.
Like an ever-tightening noose.
Still I am awake.
I've heard people say that alcohol makes a depressed person get drunk more easy.
If so, then why is it that the alcohol did nothing to me?
Perhaps I'm just devoid of emotions.
Can someone tell me why this soul is so nihilistic at this moment in time?
Pessimism suppresses my hope.
Like an ever-tightening noose.
Still I am awake.
I've heard people say that alcohol makes a depressed person get drunk more easy.
If so, then why is it that the alcohol did nothing to me?
Perhaps I'm just devoid of emotions.
Monday, July 13, 2009
#53 Saturday
Little birdy fly so free.
Little birdy crapped on me!
It was a bright and sunny afternoon. I had made my 3 good friends wait for nearly half an hour for a lunch meet-up with my family because it was my younger brother's birthday and we had arranged for a catch up session.
I guess my tardiness was the reason for my impending misfortune.
To cut things short, I went to buy the food and drinks and the recruit and corporal helped bring them back to the tables. Due to a shortage of table space in the air-conditioned indoors, we made do with sitting outside (we had 7 people in attendance). So my brothers and my mom came and we sat down to eat.
After the meal, I got up, washed my hands and came back to my seat. Not long after I asked if we were ready to leave, it happened.
SPLAT!
Something wet hit the left side of my face (and spectacles) and trailed down.
Gravity prevails. Not a consolation.
At first I thought, "wah, so suay, can kena rain even under the shelter." A moment later, it dawned upon me that I was the only one who got hit. Looking up, I saw the cause of the mischief and I almost had a heart attack.
"That #*&%#$&# bird bombed me!" I cried out in a fit of rage. "Why you little..."
My mutterings were drowned out by the combined laughter of those present. I then took some serviettes, cleaned up and rushed home for a bath, barely half an hour after my last.
Fortunately, the bird didn't decide to bomb in the middle, or at the start of the meal.
Otherwise, I don't think we'd eat KFC for a long time to come. =/
To top it off, Mom told me to buy 4D, placing my bets on the numbers 0711.
That day happened to be 7/11.
"Zhong Tou Jiang".
Little birdy crapped on me!
It was a bright and sunny afternoon. I had made my 3 good friends wait for nearly half an hour for a lunch meet-up with my family because it was my younger brother's birthday and we had arranged for a catch up session.
I guess my tardiness was the reason for my impending misfortune.
To cut things short, I went to buy the food and drinks and the recruit and corporal helped bring them back to the tables. Due to a shortage of table space in the air-conditioned indoors, we made do with sitting outside (we had 7 people in attendance). So my brothers and my mom came and we sat down to eat.
After the meal, I got up, washed my hands and came back to my seat. Not long after I asked if we were ready to leave, it happened.
SPLAT!
Something wet hit the left side of my face (and spectacles) and trailed down.
Gravity prevails. Not a consolation.
At first I thought, "wah, so suay, can kena rain even under the shelter." A moment later, it dawned upon me that I was the only one who got hit. Looking up, I saw the cause of the mischief and I almost had a heart attack.
"That #*&%#$&# bird bombed me!" I cried out in a fit of rage. "Why you little..."
My mutterings were drowned out by the combined laughter of those present. I then took some serviettes, cleaned up and rushed home for a bath, barely half an hour after my last.
Fortunately, the bird didn't decide to bomb in the middle, or at the start of the meal.
Otherwise, I don't think we'd eat KFC for a long time to come. =/
To top it off, Mom told me to buy 4D, placing my bets on the numbers 0711.
That day happened to be 7/11.
"Zhong Tou Jiang".
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
#52 When Confusion Sets In
Fix me a good one.
No, fix your own.
Please?
No.
Please?!
No!
Fine!
Fine!
And so the delirium continues.
Gibberish.
No, fix your own.
Please?
No.
Please?!
No!
Fine!
Fine!
And so the delirium continues.
Gibberish.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
#51 On The Bus
I thought I saw someone familiar on the bus. Guess not.
I thought I'd already forgotten you.
It's been what, more than a year since our last conversation?
Totally irrational.
Guess you're doing more than fine.
And so, to nostalgia, and my lingering sense of longing,
原来 - 林俊傑
街灯绊住我眼前下一步
拉长的影子嘲弄的回顾
电话亭仍留着你的话
一句话掉一滴泪
今晚的我 会是如何入睡
原来最疼痛的表情竟是没有情绪
原来最残忍的画面可以甜言蜜语
我不懂得如何更爱你
影子讽刺地 跟着我难分难
原来最孤单的是我还是那么想你
原来最悲哀的是我不能面对自己
你 收的干净
我也会 不留一点痕迹
说故事也要像是真的
可是别触动那些回忆
今夜你说了最后一句
一句话 掉一滴泪
看来今晚的我 很难入睡
原来最疼痛的表情竟是没有情绪
原来最残忍的画面可以甜言蜜语
我不懂得如何更爱你
影子讽刺地 跟着我难分难
原来最孤单的是我还是那么想你
原来最悲哀的是我不能面对自己
你 收的干净
我也会 不留一点痕迹
原来最疼痛的表情竟是没有情绪
原来最残忍的画面可以甜言蜜语
我不懂得如何更爱你
影子讽刺地 跟着我难分难
原来最孤单的是我还是那么想你
原来最悲哀的是我不能面对自己
你 收的干净
我也会 不留一点痕迹
Maybe.
I thought I'd already forgotten you.
It's been what, more than a year since our last conversation?
Totally irrational.
Guess you're doing more than fine.
And so, to nostalgia, and my lingering sense of longing,
原来 - 林俊傑
街灯绊住我眼前下一步
拉长的影子嘲弄的回顾
电话亭仍留着你的话
一句话掉一滴泪
今晚的我 会是如何入睡
原来最疼痛的表情竟是没有情绪
原来最残忍的画面可以甜言蜜语
我不懂得如何更爱你
影子讽刺地 跟着我难分难
原来最孤单的是我还是那么想你
原来最悲哀的是我不能面对自己
你 收的干净
我也会 不留一点痕迹
说故事也要像是真的
可是别触动那些回忆
今夜你说了最后一句
一句话 掉一滴泪
看来今晚的我 很难入睡
原来最疼痛的表情竟是没有情绪
原来最残忍的画面可以甜言蜜语
我不懂得如何更爱你
影子讽刺地 跟着我难分难
原来最孤单的是我还是那么想你
原来最悲哀的是我不能面对自己
你 收的干净
我也会 不留一点痕迹
原来最疼痛的表情竟是没有情绪
原来最残忍的画面可以甜言蜜语
我不懂得如何更爱你
影子讽刺地 跟着我难分难
原来最孤单的是我还是那么想你
原来最悲哀的是我不能面对自己
你 收的干净
我也会 不留一点痕迹
Maybe.
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