#67 Makes No Difference What The Title Is

But that's that.

Today I finally grasp the impact.

Two words.

Double standards.

And so as my impending weekend extra duty looms near, I clear up unwashed cups that have been left to bacteria over the weekend and stare at an un-updated set of Routine Orders (RO). All by a certain duty clerk who proclaims he is done with taking MCs incessantly, and then proceeds to take a 2-day one the very next day.

Honestly, its tempting to let all hell loose with the MCs and Chao Kengs, especially when doing things right get you extras when you trip up and doing things wrong all the time means everyone just gives up on punishing you.

I do admit I deserved that extra duty for messing up.

However, I do not understand why people who AWOL, malinger like there's no tomorrow, forget basic Standard Operating Procedures (SOP) and in general make a mess of everything leaving others to clear the trash can get away scot-free in spite of the numerous complaints.

Oh and that dear chap can insinuate that I am less than perfect in my conduct.

And NO WAY will I flaunt my seniority to make the juniors run around and clear the crap just because I have the authority.

Makes no damn sense that the only resource our country has is people and yet the very entity that is charged to protect our sovereignty has practices that belittles and disenchants that very resource.

I'm not even asking to be treated like a king.

But a (resists the urge to hurl an expletive) fool I'm not.

Burn my weekend, there is no off in lieu because this is a punishment, but let the imbecile run wild and free.

Just... Great.

#66 Grins

From ear to ear.

Grinning.

空秋千 - 林宇中

荡秋千

来回终究要停在原点
望太远

眼前幸福却忽略

晃半圈 圆不了爱恋高
一遍低一遍风
就吹散了永远

还想为你摇秋千
对着夕阳扮鬼脸
若月光再美一点
我们会否把手牵

还想被你碎碎念
当数流星的配乐
你却说你等不到天亮
空秋千陪整夜

秋千和我失眠
在你影子身边
这公园太想念
你无邪的笑脸

Grins some more.

Silly little fanboy mortal. :)

#65 Making Magic With Our Mouths

Not with bad breath, but our voices. Though right now... the engine's all sputtering.

Dreams of his own pop concert.

*Pops the bubble*

Nah, never mind.

Yaaaaawn.

#64 The Hiatus Has Ended

I believe.

So many things have happened, so much doubt has been casted upon my life and then casted away once more.

At 2.30am in the midst of a deluge on a Saturday I (inadequately) pen my thoughts.

A part of me mourns the times that have passed, the innocence lost, the friends that are (terribly) missed, the opportunities that were forgone and the buddies that are no more.

In fact, my brain is almost exploding with the number of names and faces (some I've forgotten I ever knew) that keep flashing past.

Friends, loves, acquaintances, could-be's, have been's.

But one thing that never fails to repeat is that everyone is moving ahead.

How I'd like to be in an utopian world; to meet and smile at every face I remember, to reminisce the good times and gloss over the bad times, to recreate memories in the present and to dream of the future. No pain, all gain.

It's a good feeling, and yet too much of an indulgence. Because I keep forgetting reality.

And as "Who Am I" plays in the background, even more emotions jolt my mind.

HopeRP, a turbulent, passionate affair that ended way too abruptly, just as how I relied exclusively upon myself and the strength I've never had. But I don't regret being apart of it.

Once again I am amazed at the many ways God can soothe us and bring us more than peace.

Which contrasts sharply with the feeling of dread and fear I felt as I was lying half comatose on the floor in exhaustion or the eerie trembling atmosphere from barely ten minutes ago.

And how do we know He is real?

We believe in every slightest superstition of ill omens, malevolent spirits and yet struggle to come to terms with the existence of a being that is entirely opposite and exclusive character-wise.

Such is the jarring irony.

And today as I recline comfortably on my seat, I believe once more.

It was real, that voice that said, "Seek first the kingdom of God and all else will be provided for you." A paraphrase on my part.

And once more, at no cost to me, I am loved. I am saved.

And You remind me I'm not the nothing that I thought I was.

I'll fight the demons with You, now that I can see them.

But only on Your command.