#84 Oh How I Missed

Those times of innocence. How far I've come, whether for good or for worse.

I miss night cycling with my close buddies as we'd stop by places of fond memories, singing our personal theme song and reminiscing on lost opportunities knowing that, in the very least, three sticks that fall upon each other support one another like a tripod.

And then there were those Mahjong nights and walks after that, feeling the breeze and just enjoying the company of one another.

Two separate events, two different situations, the very same emotion.

We never needed to be perfect.

All that matters are the memories.

But... how, why?

And no one else needs to know, because this is as personal as it gets.

#83 Such A Beautiful Day

And then I'm late for work, I'm served an extra, lots of chinks in the metalworks... and I'm given a promise I'm going to be scolded.

Interestingly, I'm not too bothered. Because... Tomorrow's the END of the WEEK!

I have this weekly looking-forward-to-the-weekend ritual that I like to practise.

Each morning, I go into the office, walk to my Madam's table and go all high-pitched:

Monday: Good morning Madam! I am so happy today! You know why? Because today is FIVE days to the weekend! AND I'm looking forward to my vocal lesson which is only TOMORROW! Yay!

Tuesday: Good morning Madam! I am so happy today! You know why? Because I have my vocal lesson today!

Wednesday: Good morning Madam! I am so happy today! Guess why? Because its only THREE days to the WEEKEND!

Thursday: Good morning Madam! I am so happy today! Know why? Because I can count the days to the weekend with only TWO fingers!

Friday: Good morning Madam! I am so happy today! Guess why? Because in LESS than EIGHT hours, we will be FREE to PARTY! Yeah!

I've been doing that for the past few months.

But I bet my Madam feels like its torture.

Who cares? Tomorrow is FRIDAY!

#82 说你也一样爱着我 张栋梁

为什么你 总是闷闷不乐
你知不知道 你是最好的
这首歌 我唱这首歌 就是要给你快乐

世界上只有你独一无二
我为你添上幸福的颜色
这首歌 我唱这首歌 你要专心的听着

说你也一样爱着我
有一个温暖角落 那是我心窝
把你的爱收起来 放进我的口袋
不让你轻易离开

我会永远爱着你
到老还是同一句 因为我珍惜
轻轻地摇着篮椅 戴着老花眼镜
还记得我们这首歌

说你也一样的爱着我

这首歌
说你一样爱着我
说你也一样爱着我
有一个温暖角落 那是我心窝
把你的爱收起来 放进我的口袋
不让你轻易离开

我会永远爱着你
到老还是同一句 因为我珍惜
轻轻地摇着篮椅 戴着老花眼镜
还记得我们 这首歌

Just for the reverie.

#81 The Way We Face Our Demons

Unfortunately, though time and again I try, I have always given up and return to feeding my demons, letting them loose to unleash destruction upon myself.

And through time, it seems my conscience diminishes bit by bit, as does my self-worth. But still, every now and then the Spirit convicts, and I know deep down that grieving feeling.

I've been blessed, that the Spirit protects me, but whatever control I have released to my inner demons stays beyond my reach for as long as I fail to demand back. And yet my spirit endures like a silent promise.

****

As I was walking back home, I was thinking about praise and worship, and how ever since I started to take up my vocal course it seems to me that I have began to in greater degree indulge more in the song than the reason behind it.

I realised that at times I just try to get the keys all right and sing the song all perfect just to lose the meaning of what it is to praise, what it is to worship. And then it dawned upon that with a greater awareness, there is a greater possibility of abuse.

But at the end of the day, nothing else matters if it doesn't glorify Him.

I'd like to go back to my first love. To magnify Him. To sing His praise in abandonment.

I'd like to "Starbucks" with Him.

****

Chris Tomlin - How Can I Keep From Singing

There is an endless song
Echoes in my soul
I hear the music ring

And though the storms may come
I am holding on
To the rock I cling

How can I keep from singing Your praise
How can I ever say enough
How amazing is Your love
How can I keep from shouting Your name
I know I am loved by the King
And it makes my heart want to sing

I will lift my eyes
In the darkest night
For I know my Savior lives

And I will walk with You
Knowing You'll see me through
And sing the songs You give

[Chorus]
How can I keep from singing Your praise
How can I ever say enough
How amazing is Your love
How can I keep from shouting Your name
I know I am loved by the King
And it makes my heart want to sing

I can sing in the troubled times
Sing when I win
I can sing when I lose my step
And fall down again
I can sing 'cause You pick me up
Sing 'cause You're there
I can sing 'cause You hear me, Lord
When I call to You in prayer
I can sing with my last breath
Sing for I know
That I'll sing with the angels
And the saints around the throne

****

And with the conclusion of the Youth Meeting, I have one burning desire.

I'd like to get to know that anointing and become addicted to it no matter the cost.

I'd like to take the plunge.

#80 ONE MORE TIME FROM THE START!

Man. It's been 4 months since my last self-absorbed ramble and surely I say to everyone, words have failed me since.

Try as I may, I cannot and will not compress the excesses of 4 months into one single blog entry and so I shall write the past off with the full stop.

And still, I am not done with NS, even though it already seems like a lifetime has passed. I'm not in a particularly jubilant mood but what life gives, we take. Rather than sulk, mentally torture or whine, it's a lot better to dust off the dirt from your pants, laugh it off and move on.

And in the midst of life I'd just want to stop time and say this,

I

WANT

TO

GO

SING

KARAOKE!

Darn, that feels so good.