#81 The Way We Face Our Demons

Unfortunately, though time and again I try, I have always given up and return to feeding my demons, letting them loose to unleash destruction upon myself.

And through time, it seems my conscience diminishes bit by bit, as does my self-worth. But still, every now and then the Spirit convicts, and I know deep down that grieving feeling.

I've been blessed, that the Spirit protects me, but whatever control I have released to my inner demons stays beyond my reach for as long as I fail to demand back. And yet my spirit endures like a silent promise.

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As I was walking back home, I was thinking about praise and worship, and how ever since I started to take up my vocal course it seems to me that I have began to in greater degree indulge more in the song than the reason behind it.

I realised that at times I just try to get the keys all right and sing the song all perfect just to lose the meaning of what it is to praise, what it is to worship. And then it dawned upon that with a greater awareness, there is a greater possibility of abuse.

But at the end of the day, nothing else matters if it doesn't glorify Him.

I'd like to go back to my first love. To magnify Him. To sing His praise in abandonment.

I'd like to "Starbucks" with Him.

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Chris Tomlin - How Can I Keep From Singing

There is an endless song
Echoes in my soul
I hear the music ring

And though the storms may come
I am holding on
To the rock I cling

How can I keep from singing Your praise
How can I ever say enough
How amazing is Your love
How can I keep from shouting Your name
I know I am loved by the King
And it makes my heart want to sing

I will lift my eyes
In the darkest night
For I know my Savior lives

And I will walk with You
Knowing You'll see me through
And sing the songs You give

[Chorus]
How can I keep from singing Your praise
How can I ever say enough
How amazing is Your love
How can I keep from shouting Your name
I know I am loved by the King
And it makes my heart want to sing

I can sing in the troubled times
Sing when I win
I can sing when I lose my step
And fall down again
I can sing 'cause You pick me up
Sing 'cause You're there
I can sing 'cause You hear me, Lord
When I call to You in prayer
I can sing with my last breath
Sing for I know
That I'll sing with the angels
And the saints around the throne

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And with the conclusion of the Youth Meeting, I have one burning desire.

I'd like to get to know that anointing and become addicted to it no matter the cost.

I'd like to take the plunge.