It's Been Awhile. :)

Thought I'd restart penning down my life, long after the blogger crazy has died out.

The good thing is, I can be pretty plain about things.

Dear 2013, you've brought my hopes & dreams up, dashed them to the rocks & shattered whatever the first 24 years of my existence has taught me about life.

I've hurt so much, grown so much, learnt so much over these past 4 months & yet my life feels so much more out of control. But thanks to God, I have hope.

E.g. When I started my first full-time job, I've always thought that sales, marketing & networking was not for me. That working hard, being responsible & conscientious, getting my promotion & starting a family was more than enough. Salt & Light 2012 shattered that perspective. Face it, wherever we go, we market & position ourselves to be of value & form networks that strengthen each other.

Now, I'm looking 5 years ahead, where do I want to be? To:

1. Get my degree - Bachelor's in Communications & Psychology - Got my provisional acceptance already; I start in July!

2. Start my very own social enterprise (Motto: Just Because You're From a Broken Family, Doesn't Mean You Have To Be a Broken Person) - Work in Progress, this is why my current job is perfect for development. More to come as I plan how things are going to work!

3. Complete my Professional Diploma in Human Resource Development - 2 more modules, thank God for the company sponsorship! While the course isn't mind blowing, the perspectives & thought processes developed will go a long way to developing & achieving my goals.

4. Start to serve in Children's Church - I never knew I'd consider a move till that dream of starting my own social enterprise. But I'm going to need the experience interacting & understanding children if I want to make a meaningful impact in their lives.

5. Love my family more - The first 4 goals so far are measurable, the rest will generally be harder to quantify or be of more intrinsic value. But having it here & always on my mind is a good reminder each day. Nowadays, I regularly drop by Dad's restaurant to help him with Facebook & other IT stuff & to share his burden. Running two restaurants, battling personal problems & dealing with an increasingly aging body really is tough. & for Mom, the transition is & will be tough, & I want to be there for her as much as I want to be free to live my own life. How do we balance?

6. Start investing for my future, Financially, Spiritually - 2 years in army, retaking my 2nd FYP & investing 1/2 year in SOT, brings me to a total of 4 years "lag" behind the average Singaporean girl my age. To catch up, I've got to quadruple my effort & be focused about it.

7. Within the year, help 2 people achieve their short term goals - this one, is tough. I haven't gotten about really accomplishing it because of my tight schedule, but believe me, I'm working on it.

8. To be a blessing to the people around me - Think I'm doing well on this point at least in the market place. Just yesterday, this really kind new colleague came to me & thanked me for encouraging, guiding & spending extra effort on her, giving me a cake which she said was, "for my mother, who must be so blessed to have you." I'm flattered, but I hardly count myself worthy of that compliment; we're all learning & trying to love better. I guess it just resonated with me, when people step out of their comfort zone & really try their best; you just want to lend a helping hand. But I believe that just as we were once given a chance, so should we extend that chance to others. Sometimes we just got to speak up & show that we care.

9. Been slackening, picking up, slackening on my personal promise to God to make that 500km total run by the end of the year. I'm now only at the 110km-ish mark; Been like that since the start of April, I believe. Need to get my health up & start running!

While work has been quite punishing mentally & physically, I thank God for this moulding. Us Gen Y people have noticeable weakness in getting distracted or getting emotionally overwhelmed & letting that affect our work quality. Yes, yes, I know work is not everything. But let's face it; work takes up a great majority of our life & if we don't get it right, we're going to be miserable the majority of our life. So my goal this year, is to get it set in the right direction so I can focus on my studies come July.

Looks like things are heating up. Really nervous. And excited. And nervous.

Just... a little bit more nervous.