#52 When Confusion Sets In

Fix me a good one.

No, fix your own.

Please?

No.

Please?!

No!

Fine!

Fine!

And so the delirium continues.

Gibberish.

#51 On The Bus

I thought I saw someone familiar on the bus. Guess not.

I thought I'd already forgotten you.

It's been what, more than a year since our last conversation?

Totally irrational.

Guess you're doing more than fine.

And so, to nostalgia, and my lingering sense of longing,

原来 - 林俊傑

街灯绊住我眼前下一步
拉长的影子嘲弄的回顾
电话亭仍留着你的话
一句话掉一滴泪
今晚的我 会是如何入睡

原来最疼痛的表情竟是没有情绪
原来最残忍的画面可以甜言蜜语
我不懂得如何更爱你
影子讽刺地 跟着我难分难

原来最孤单的是我还是那么想你
原来最悲哀的是我不能面对自己
你 收的干净
我也会 不留一点痕迹

说故事也要像是真的
可是别触动那些回忆
今夜你说了最后一句
一句话 掉一滴泪
看来今晚的我 很难入睡

原来最疼痛的表情竟是没有情绪
原来最残忍的画面可以甜言蜜语
我不懂得如何更爱你
影子讽刺地 跟着我难分难

原来最孤单的是我还是那么想你
原来最悲哀的是我不能面对自己
你 收的干净
我也会 不留一点痕迹

原来最疼痛的表情竟是没有情绪
原来最残忍的画面可以甜言蜜语
我不懂得如何更爱你
影子讽刺地 跟着我难分难

原来最孤单的是我还是那么想你
原来最悲哀的是我不能面对自己
你 收的干净
我也会 不留一点痕迹

Maybe.

#50 Breathe.

Breathe deep...

Aiya not like that la! Your stomach must expand, expand!

Like this... *breathe*

Yes that's right! Now continue breathing!

*After a few minutes*

Hyperventilate.

That was exactly how I felt just now.

I even almost fainted during one of the exercises because I breathed in too much and too quickly and failed to expel the remaining air.

But even so, the lesson was awesome. :)

Oh, and there's this ache in my right kidney area.

Oww.

#49 Because I Don't Know What To Title This

And because I don't know where to start.

So I'll start with something random.

Bleh.

*Starts entry*

More and more frustration comes in the office as people take MC to moonlight, take MC on duty day or get into unnecessary trouble, in turn costing the rest of us trouble.

And so the pot tries to call the kettle black.

Recently, I have been asking myself, why do I keep thinking about friends I want to repeatedly reach out to.

Today, I'm definitely sure it's because I care for them and want to see them well.

Of course, not receiving any reply for weeks is frustrating, plus the fact that not receiving a reply indirectly means they probably find it irritating.

However, I'll be a little dense, a little thick-skinned until they tell me to stop. Once a week, once a week.

Because waterfalls are made through persistent wear and tear over tireless streams of water.

#48 F-F-F-First Blood!

CYC's birthday bash was a success! Glad you liked it and glad I could contribute through the food. :)

And so I let Yong Ren get first blood on the satay, since he mentioned that he hadn't eaten it in a long time.

It was too bad I couldn't stay over; at least I got to sleep and go for service the next day.

The only thing I sort of regret is getting so drunk. I mean, I could still walk straight and stuff, but my eyes were bloodshot, my face was red as a tomato and I had this hangover the next day. =/

Also had a mini celebration cum dinner at my dad's restaurant the previous day for an early birthday celebration for Heng Yu's 22nd and Elaine's 23rd.

I must admit, there were a few screw ups, but on the whole, well lets say, if they're happy, I'm happy too.

And so today, I lay on my bed semi-conscious, struggling to get out of bed. I finally reached Jurong East station half an hour late, dazed.

And the rest, as they say, is history.

#47 There's This Thick Atmosphere All Around

That I've been feeling the past week. It isn't really depression or something.

It's more like, "let's get down to some serious people business".

But in past nights (after that weird incident some of you know) if I walk home alone after 12am, I'd pray/worship out loud as I made my way home.

Today I just had that heck-care-because-I-don't-have-the-energy-to-be-disturbed attitude. It was amusing when I reach home and didn't really feel the palpable sense of fear I usually felt.

It was good.

But then other challenges come into mind and I feel I need to pray more.

I need a spiritual time-out.

Oh and today's a brother's birthday, someone whom I do not have the courage to wish. Because even though I bear no ill feelings, I cannot reconcile the fact that I was expected to make promises in the tight schedule I had.

And so we drifted away.

I guess its all the more easier this way.

#46 Its The Middle Of The Week

Ups and downs all week.

But prayer takes away the bite and puts a calming peace.

I'll need more consistency and a thick enough skin to ignore negativity and project positivity.

My tests came back this morning; given a clean bill of health. However, my body doesn't seem to agree. Oh well.

I just felt a need to shout out. It feels good to do so sometimes.