Such a drastic emotional change from yesterday's uplifting mood.
The reason why my birthday celebration is so screwed up is, apart from my lousy planning skills, that my finances are extremely tight. $200-kind-of-tight.
And I can't add anymore in because for the past 6 months, I've been living on $3 on a day, including any extra costs like taxis, offering, entertainment (L4D2 etc.) I get by with a $50-150 supplement from my mom depending on how broke I am that month.
I specifically chose the first chalet location for its price, so when that failed, I didn't have any other options which could fit in the budget.
And so I dragged and dreaded the day; I still do, and have this very tempting idea of doing a no-show. But I can't.
Which begs the question, "Why can't you ask your parents for money?"
Not my mom, I don't want to, because she has enough expenses to take care of.
My dad? That just brings up a whole can of worms I don't have the energy to explain.
Just know that I didn't choose this current location for myself.
Oh and, "Why can't we bring presents?"
Because my initial vision for the birthday dinner is summed up in these five words, "I just want to serve." I really just want everyone to enjoy and catch up on that night, no need to pay, nothing to buy (especially after all so many birthdays already), no strings attached.
Now after this morning it starts to look more like a social responsibility and the vision's gone to pot after a few turn of events, I think I'd just angry seeing presents, or even a birthday cake.
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