#44 How Utterly Amazing

The mistakes that I have made, are made against me ten-fold, all at once.

Ignoring calls/smses,
Empty promises,
Saying the opposite of what we think,
Doing a disappearing act.

What an explicit example of having "a taste of my own medicine".

Which is why I cannot complain.

And I ask to be able to overcome them.

In spite of my emotions.

It seems that recently, two categories of friends have popped out, competing for attention;

1. Those who are always there to ask for help, but never to help.

2. Those who are always there to help, but never willing to receive help.

For those of the former, it pains me when they wallow in self-pity (and I struggle not to follow in their steps) and dig a bigger and bigger hole each time. Because words have failed us when the words fall on deaf ears. Sometimes I feel the whole conversation is a sham; a thinly veiled attempt to justify self-abandonment.

For those of the latter, they're a real rare, although equally frustrating, breed. Because I can't help but question, what am I to them? Am I a friend, or just someone to help, indirectly to boost their ego, as they help and feel of use?

Because a friendship is two-way. I cannot keep giving because I'll dry out.

Neither can I keep receiving, because I'll feel overwhelmed negatively.

And I'd like to ask, what friend selectively chooses the topics to reply on?

Is that even a friend, or just an activity mate?

I don't need to hear an answer by words, just actions.

And please, please, please, please, please,

When you say you'll run the race, don't do it half-heartedly, or for the sake of a promise.

Because it's your own life, your own end.

Please be the men your IC says you are.