It's 4 in the afternoon, I've just woke up from a pretty awesome afternoon nap feeling refreshed and ready for the evening ahead (outreach: Shrek! Haven't watched first 3 instalments but never mind).
So, how did I get here? To sleep, I mean (I'm supposed to be in camp after all right?). To cut a long story short, a few birthdays were celebrated in camp and one of the birthday boys was senior enough so he said we could have free and easy in the afternoon. And because we are a stay-out unit... You can guess the rest.
Nice.
**
Jason:
I realised I was pretty insensitive when I sms-ed you that I was going home on half day when you probably have to stay late. It really was not intentional! :( But never mind, what's done is done, look forward to the weekends!
**
Sometimes I feel like a leaf in the wind, and it takes so much effort just to keep sight of God and being positive. And I remind myself the choice I have made, to celebrate life not because of the good things but in spite of the bad ones. It's a daily struggle but it certainly is not self-indulgence or self-consolation.
But somehow I know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and well, things just work out. And it might not be in the ways that I expect them to be but when things fall into place, often the result is better than what I might have hoped for. And I save the effort of worrying the whole time!
**
I've been painfully aware for the past 1 or 2 years that I've been having this severe Writer's block. Where once words and stories flow to me, right now I can't seem to find the right words even when I am inspired with a story. And that is the same for all creative lines; we have just got to admit it that many times we will hit a rock wall.
But while I am facing this Writer's block, I'm certainly not sitting in front of the wall waiting for it to shatter supernaturally. While I can be praying, expecting and brushing up on my literary skills, I've also learn to diversify. I'm now doing many other things that I would never do if I devoted my time to writing. Singing (yes, this absolutely had to be repeated for the umpteenth time) is my new creative kid and I sure am loving it! :)
My point is this. Perhaps we love this part of our life dearly. But sometimes, God doesn't want us to miss out on the other exciting aspects of life as well! And just yesterday on the way to meeting Jun Wei for Bible Study, I was conversing with Sasi on the train. We came to the topic of being in a situation where after a long time of struggling, we find ourselves in a repeating pattern of doing the same things and getting the same results.
And that is where we have to break the pattern as soon as we realise it.
**
And talking about Sasi reminds me of what I wanted to post yesterday night. I respect that guy, Sasi. Because until yesterday, I've never found someone who prioritises Philia over Eros.
Wuh, what, who, how? You say.
Philia - Brotherly Love (Family, in this instance)
Eros - Romantic Love (A side note: Eros does not have to be sensual in nature. Just so you know)
Now I can't go into details, but I will say that Sasi really is an exceptional family, whether by personal choice or by upbringing or by a mixture of both. And I can only wish him well, because he makes the tough decisions even at convenient times. :)
**
SPLAT.
My mental diarrhoea has just stopped and I'm out of words. :'(
Now let me get this bittersweet feeling out of my heart and do the things that matter!
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